On Mondays at lunch, we fast and pray – for men to become godly leaders in the church and the home; for soft hearts that are responsive to the Lord; and for strong, Christ-centered marriages for those who desire them.
On my sixteenth birthday, my parents gave me a beautiful, leather-bound study Bible (KJV, of course), complete with my name imprinted in gold on the cover. Over the years, I’ve underlined and made notes next to verses that have spoken to me, many of them in Psalms as I’ve made it a habit to read and meditate on a Psalm-a-day to start out my quiet time.
Reflecting on the verses I’ve picked out as “special,” I realize they tell the story of my single-girl heart:
“Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord God of hosts, be ashamed for my sake.” (Psalm 69:6a)
“My soul, wait thou only upon God: for my expectation is from him.” (Psalm 62:5)
“Cast they burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22)
“…Put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?” (Psalm 56:8)
Waiting. Expectation. Burden [of singleness]. Tears. And yes, this one is in there too with the note “Searching…” in black ink in the margin:
“Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.” (Psalm 37:37)
I think that last example is most telling, and honestly, pretty convicting of the one mind-set, one view of God and His Word that I’ve used to define my relationship with Him – God as a provider of a husband. Not to mention the fact that I doubt the psalmist intended me to interpret the verse as upright man = good husband = peaceful life for me, although there is wisdom in holding out for a godly man to marry.
Yes, God wants me to find comfort in His Word and to apply His Words to my life. Most certainly, He wants me to pour out the desires and sorrows and longings of my heart to Him as King David so beautifully set the example in the Psalms. But He wants me to know and experience the other pieces of Him too and not simply interpret His Word and His Provision for me as it applies to my relationship status and waiting for a husband.
Things like (to name a very few):
- God the Most Holy (Daniel 9:24)
- God who saves me (Psalm 51:14)
- My Salvation (Exodus 15:2)
- A consuming Fire (Deuteronomy 4:24)
- Sovereign Lord (Luke 2:29 and as our guest writer Heidi showed us last week)
In the midst of my busyness, anxiety, desires, sadness, fears, and needs, I so often forget God as my Father, Jesus as my Redeemer and Intercessor, and the Holy Spirit as my source of Power and God’s constant presence in me to lead me in the way I should go.
This week as we fast and pray, let’s not lose sight of the awesomeness and power of our God. Let’s not limit Him to “Spouse-Giver” as I have so often done, but spend some time reflecting on “I AM.”
May His peace and joy rest upon you!