Self-proclaimed Perfection

On Mondays at lunch, we fast and pray – for men to become godly leaders at church and at home; for soft hearts that are responsive to the Lord; and for strong, Christ-centered marriages for those who desire them.

Sometimes when I hear that a couple has broken up or a marriage has ended, there is a little, tiny part of me that feels vindicated. Smug.

“I could have told them it would never work out.”

“They got married too young.”

“I would never let it get to the point in MY marriage where we would call it quits.”

But lately, that’s not been my response. I wish I could say that it is all the work of God in me, revealing my pride and putting compassion in its place. Instead, it has been the startling increase of divorce among my Christian friends, including one couple I had long admired as a model for my marriage.

My new response to breakups has been to mourn a loss and a humbled heart reminding me that my self-proclaimed perfection will only lead to a fall (1 Corinthians 10:12 &  Proverbs 16: 18). And, there is a loss of hope that I must lay at the foot of Jesus, a reminder that my true hope must be in Him.

We’ve talked before about the “Great Divide” that often exists between marrieds and singles in the church, and one important area where we can rally together is in our prayer for marriage.

The struggle of singles is to find a like-minded, godly spouse. The struggle of those who are married is to find (and be) a like-minded, godly spouse.

Hmm…that doesn’t sound so different.

This week, let’s pray for compassion for those who are hurting – in marriages or in singleness – thankful that He hears our prayers and is the God of all comfort and the source of our hope and salvation.

Love to you today,

Emily

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

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8 Responses to Self-proclaimed Perfection

  1. Rebekah says:

    As an almost 34-year-old single person headed towards marriage in Oct, one of the lies I bought into was that I had a greater measure of control over my single destiny than I really did. That became more apparent to me when I took the leap to get engaged this spring to a wonderful Christian man I met only last Oct. All of the sudden, I was confronted with how much would be no longer in my control- his job search and changing direction in his career, trying to sell his home, since we’re both homeowners, having sole authority in my condo about where things are and how they are maintained, well, you get the picture.

    I think we can project that onto one another- that impression that we have complete control over our lives to be composed and live out “perfect” Christian lives…so why isn’t everyone else?

    In reality, walking with God as broken, in-process people, single and married alike, we don’t have full control (nor would we really want that responsibility). Oh for grace and a deeper ability to live out the love of God towards our brothers and sisters! Then, we stop focusing so much on the appearance of having it all together anyway. 🙂

    • Emily says:

      Rebekah – Thanks for sharing your story (congratulations!) and for the important reminders to trust that the Lord will use even our imperfections to bring Him glory so we shouldn’t be afraid to share our trials with one another. Being a Christian certainly doesn’t mean having life in complete order 100% of the time!

    • Katie says:

      I know this is not the main point of your post but nevertheless, its encouraging to me to hear about Christian women who are reaching their mid-thirties and getting married. Very encouraging, because in my social circle, I’m 32 and the last one standing and its getting really hard to keep the hopes up that I might someday get married.

      • Emily says:

        Hi Katie, glad this blog could be a blessing to you! This community was created for women who are single to know they aren’t alone in their struggles/desires and to celebrate when God answers prayer. As a further encouragement, a good friend of mine got married last summer at 36, and another friend was in her 40s and got married this year. Will be praying for you today!

      • Rebekah says:

        Hang in there, Katie! If it’s even more comforting to hear- I did give up hope. Sure, I was active at my church and faithfully growing, but that part of me (that wanted to meet someone) shriveled up and died a few years ago. God loves us (and cares and hears our hearts) even at that point.

        When it happened, it was all God’s work and glory on display. Truly! I was completely surprised and totally blessed.

        As you are experiencing, the timing seemed past the 11th hour, right? But there have been several moments where I’ve realized that my fiancee and I couldn’t have met any sooner and have it work. God was doing a lot individually in us to prepare us for one another and we have an age gap of 4 1/2 years (I’m older…see, God even heard my gripe about guys picking younger women!).

        Will join Emily in praying for you. 🙂

  2. smvernalis says:

    Good words, Em. Thanks!

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