When you don’t have a plus one

Reminder – we fast and pray on Mondays  for our hearts to be soft towards the Lord, for men who love Jesus, for existing marriages to be strengthened, and for new relationships and marriages to begin for those who desire it.

My message for this post is simple: You are not alone.

You are in the company of my single coworker who found herself at a dinner party with three couples last Friday night, me at  New Year’s Eve party where the only other person who didn’t have someone to kiss at midnight was the host’s teenage niece, or my friend hiding in the bathroom during the bouquet toss at a wedding.

Yes, during those painful moments, your heart wants to go throw up in a corner (to borrow a friend’s accurate description), and you’ll probably have a good cry when you get home, knowing that this might not be the last time you find yourself in a situation like this. You are in good company.

But regardless of the fact that there are other singles who have shared this “odd-man-out” experience, you have others who are with you in this journey. At that dinner or party or wedding, you are in the company of friends who invited you and want you to be with them because they love you and enjoy you, not minding that your presence creates an odd number in the room. They think you are fabulous.

Finally, at the risk of sounding cliche, you have a Heavenly Father who loves you and through His Holy Spirit is ever-present with you. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve found myself silently praying my way through uncomfortable, lonely situations. Not only does it provide comfort, it occupies my heart and mind and makes me forget just a bit that I’m sitting somewhere by myself. No, it’s not a complete fix because God Himself created us to desire that human contact, but it does help, and it’s served as a reminder that my dependency should be on Him rather than on a person.

This week, I’m praying for grace and courage during the times you don’t have a plus one. I’m praying for healing for hurting hearts and for marriage for those who desire it.

I understand.

Much love,


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7 Responses to When you don’t have a plus one

  1. Karen says:

    Thank you…this is such a good encouragement, for me, as a single for years at social events and church, and my adult children who are still single, but hoping for a loving relationship.

  2. Neelam says:

    Thanks Emily. You are such an encourager.
    And congrats on your wedding this month, I believe.

    And congrats Arcee32! Very exciting as well.

  3. arcee32 says:

    Aw, yep- been there so many times! In fact, I burst into tears last summer at a wedding reception. (Felt embarrassed about it, but I guess it was hovering on the surface.) Perhaps the worst part to me was that I had another wedding to attend the next day! Two weddings, no plus one. I had a sad talk with God on the drive home, but what I didn’t know was that He was already setting in motion for me to meet a very excellent “plus one,” who by the way, was at the wedding where I cried, but we didn’t meet then. (Whew!)

    This summer, I’ll be planning my own wedding…it’s totally beyond my comprehension that has come to pass! Hang in there, dear ladies! Our pain and waiting doesn’t go unnoticed by God (even when it feels like it).

    • Emily says:

      Congratulations! I am so happy for you. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story. Praying for stress-free wedding planning and for your upcoming marriage.

  4. Gina says:

    This is so true and so helpful. Thank you.

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