Identity Crisis

On Mondays, we’re coming together to pray for marriage, for men, and for women. We’re praying that God would give the gift of marriage. We’re asking God to give men courage to walk into relationships. We’re asking God to change the hearts of women—into whatever He wants us to be, no matter the cost.

We are in the midst of an identity crisis. Individually. Communally. Cosmically. I suspect that for many of you who are single, like me, your identity crisis is tied up in your marital status. On our best days, we’re able to praise God in the midst of an emotional quagmire. On our worst days, we’re crying with David. And, oftentimes, we’re just somewhere in the ambiguous middle.

Today, I wanted to share with you one of my personal discoveries from my time praying and fasting in this community—and, it centers on this central question.

Who am I?

I have written about my own bad answers to this question.  The Lord has really impressed on my heart in the last week or so just how central the answer to that question is to our mission at FastPray and how vital it is to have a solid, unshakeable answer.

The answer to that question—or the lack of an answer—will affect your heart, your attitude, your whole life.  This question is at the center of every sin-battle, every life stage, and every victory in Christ.

We’ve touched on this concept before here on the blog—that the battles you’re facing now as an unmarried person will follow as you move into other life stages. Your insecurities, your failings, your pet worries—they aren’t going anywhere when he “puts a ring on it.” We can’t avoid our problems with a trip to the altar.

We can’t escape morphing from an emotional rollercoaster single to a topsy-turvy, basket-case housewife unless…

When Satan tempts us, demanding that we worry, give in to cynicism, and question our identity, we can say:

I am a child of God.

Wise and restored.  (1 Corinthians 1:30)

A masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)

A new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Holy and blameless. (Colossians 1:22)

Chosen. (Ephesians 1:4)

Made complete. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Loved. (1 Thessalonians 1:4)


Come today as a child of God. Come and find freedom at His feet.




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6 Responses to Identity Crisis

  1. Kristi says:

    What stood out to me in this blog post is your statement that (my paraphrase here) my “baggage” will not magically disappear with marriage. I hadn’t considered this before. All those insecurities, fears, and other issues that I deal with are packed in that bag and would come right along. I’m in this season of waiting because the Lord is trying to teach me some things. Perhaps shedding light on this issue is another area that I need to be aware of and begin to work on. Thanks.

    • fast. pray. says:

      You’re telling me 🙂 I feel like God is constantly (for lack of a better way to phrase this) showing me how broken, lonely, frustrated my married friends are — not necessarily with their spouses, but just with their lives, and it hit me… um… maybe we’re not that different after all. We’re really hungering for an identity that we’re so sure of that no circumstances can change. Its humbling and liberating all at the same time. Love and blessings– Anna

  2. Danielle says:

    This blog post has come at the most excellent time! For the past 2 weeks, the subject of misplaced identity has been brought to the forefront of my attention because God, in His mercy and great love, has bombarded me with His truth all centered on this very topic. This blog post comes as yet another confirmation…the 16th one to be exact! I will take this, along with all the other articles, blog posts, words of wisdom, and (of course) scripture He has shown me, and I will meditate and pray on it until I’ve digested it so fully that it finally becomes a part of me. Thank you so much for post, Anna…this is a great start to my week! God bless!! 🙂

  3. Susan says:

    Anna – Thank you for your post!!

    I am a 54 year old divorced woman, who recently decided to venture onto (and have been completely disappointed so far!), but I am buoyed and once again given direction (eyes up!) when I read this on another single girlfriend’s FB page:
    “A girl’s heart should be so lost in God, a guy must seek Him to find her.”
    I love it and wanted to share it with you and the fabulous community who read fast pray!!
    God is the ONLY way. . .

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