Today, we’re praying for marriage. We’re praying for the men we know, for them to be bold and walk forward into marriage. We’re praying for women, for hearts to be tender and unafraid of the future. We’re asking God to bring marriage to those who desire it.
We’ve entered the lovey-dovey month of February. I don’t know whether or not Valentine’s day makes you feel happy, sad, cynical, or sappy. I’m somewhere between I barely remembered and wow, I love the color red.
This is the month that, historically, I sat in youth group and heard every version of the “true love waits” talk. It always seems to me that “biblical sexuality month” was turned to biblical sexuality semester. I’m sure they were trying to steer us in the right direction and help us understand God’s design for marriage. Sadly, I feel like I walked away with the message of hey, if you’re really good, you’ll get a hot spouse. Between the engagement stories and one too many chick flicks, I gained our (culturally acceptable) emotional/romantic view of marriage.
Thankfully, by God’s grace, between His word and amazing community (i.e. FastPray). He’s building the biblical picture and purpose in my heart.
Here’s what I wish I remembered from biblical sexuality month:
Sex is not about you. Contrary to what every media outlet proclaims. Sex is not about you or your fulfillment. Sex, within God’s boundaries, is meant to communicate the Gospel. We are desperate for meaning and acceptance– in spite of our weaknesses and ugliness.
Marriage is not for sex. Marriage, like sex, communicates the Gospel reality of Christ’s sacrificial love for the church. And so, an adulterous relationship communicates the lie that Christ will leave you for another.
Marriage, sex, and families are a means of common grace. I don’t have links to the social science studies, but I know from Genesis 1-2 that God ordained and blessed gender, marriage, and sex. When marriages are strong, societies flourish and the earth is better tended.
As a single person, I feel left out of the phenomenon known as Valentine’s Day, but that’s mostly because of my emotional/romantic view of sex and marriage. Instead, I’m striving today for a holistic view that acknowledges on the one hand, that I’m single, and to some degree am outside of marriage, but also takes active encouragement from the godly marriages around me.
With this in mind, I can attend weddings and walk away encouraged. I can go to baby showers and not be depressed. I can walk boldly knowing that I’m not repressed, closeted, or afraid. Those wedding vows are meant for me too.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5