His Eyes are Everywhere

This is your reminder that we are fasting and praying during what would be Monday lunch for 1) marriages for those are who designed for it, and for 2) the courage to become, including relationally, the men and women God has called us to be.  And as you fast and pray, you might consider….

This weekend I got to co-lead a track at an event called the AFAM Congress on Discipleship.  My co-leader, Sherry (who is African American) & I (who am white) got to speak to a group of men and women, ranging from college age into their 60s, about prejudice, racism (and the freedom God has wrought in me) and identity in Christ.  And though my specific focus was on telling my story, as I looked around at this amazing group of people, I could not help noticing the disproportionate number of attractive predominantly African American, young single women there were.  

Then on the last evening of the gathering, I talked with an African American woman with whom I’ve been acquainted for 12 or so years.  She and her husband are a gorgeous, gifted, savvy couple.  They have 4 gorgeous, gifted, savvy daughters, all but one of whom are now in their 30s.  Only the youngest is married.  And as we spoke about marriage and this mother’s desire for her daughters, the topic inevitably moved towards statistics about the numbers of Christian men relative to women, in this case, within the African-American community.  This mother said she knew she had to put her hope in our God who knows the situation.

Meanwhile, returning home yesterday, I noticed that WordPress (who hosts this blog) has just started a new feature for site managers.  It’s in the “stats” section, and it lists hits on the blogsite by country.  I was shocked when I looked at it; in the last 30 days, there have been hits from 62 different countries.  62!  As you might expect, the US had the most, with Canada, the UK and Netherlands following.  But there were also surprising countries like Nigeria and Malawi, India and the United Arab Emirates.  Then there were countries  whose names I did not even recognize:  Seychelles and Vanuatu.  The list goes on.

Reflecting on the vast array of countries and people within those countries who follow fast.pray, reflecting on the experience of so many gorgeous, gifted, and savvy African-American women/believers, and reflecting on the realities of the typical hip, smart, believing women whose paths I repeatedly cross in this DC area, I was struck again by the heart-longing common to so many women:  for a good, fruitful and loving marriage.  And I realized:  none of us is so terribly unique or ultimately alone in our longing or our hopes.  The specific intensity of my desire, my particular set of issues, or my actual experiences with men, etc. might be different from yours.  But really, we are in this together, across cultures, around the world.  And the amazing thing about this is that our triune God transcends culture, revealing himself to people–including currently single women–around the world.

This week, no matter your cultural context, I hope that you can slow down, create space, and once again entrust your very normal heart to the God of the universe.  This is the same God who thousands of years ago revealed himself to Hagar, a husbandless woman of Middle Eastern extraction with no social status.  When he did, she was able to rejoice:   “I have now seen the One who sees me” and her life was changed.

You are seen by the One who sees you.  Receive his loving gaze.

Many Blessings, Connally

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13 Responses to His Eyes are Everywhere

  1. T says:

    Connally – I am in that demographic of educated, black professional single women you mention. People who don’t know me assume I’m just picky – I know everyone has heard this before! I’ve also realized that based on this, my personality and other physical characteristics as well as my own needs and choices, I’m forced to work with an extremely small pool of men. This is okay as I only need one!

    I spent a lot of time in past years trying to “fix” myself because I saw my friends finding husbands, sometimes two or three husbands, without much effort and it’s easy to ask what is wrong with me (I’m picky! I’m aloof! I’m too independent! I have a spiritual failing! I secretly don’t really want a husband otherwise I’d have one!). I finally realized that there are some things I can’t change about myself. There is nothing more wrong with me than anyone who has managed to get married.

    There are plenty of women who are able to find husbands without the self-reflection and change that many others find themselves doing when they don’t get what comes so easily to others. When the inability to change a situation is demonstrated in race, it’s a wonderful reminder to all of us that while there is always room for improvement, we are OKAY as we are. Being single doesn’t make us less than, it just makes us single.

    Thanks as usual for your words.

    • fast. pray. says:

      Oh yes, how many women I know have clung to counseling (which, by the way, I’m all for) in hopes that if they could ‘fix’ themselves, then ‘their issues’ would no longer keep them from getting married. But the truth is, a lot of single women don’t need ‘fixing’ any more than any other human being. Rather, we need simply the courage to walk in reality, with our desire in tow but our hope in God’s fundamental goodness, however that plays out, in tact. Sounds like you are there; that’s great.

      So glad you are with us! Blessings, Connally

    • Eve says:

      Thank you and Amen! Well said, T. You took the proverbial words right out of my mouth. 🙂 Why does it always seem as if “us singles” have something to change (which is why we’re single) or need to spend an inordinate amount of time on self-reflection to analyse what’s wrong and needs to be fixed, as if “them marrieds” have it all together (which is why they’re married)?

      “Being single doesn’t make us less than, it just makes us single.” — good quote! I’ll remember to use that when the need arises!

      And thanks, Conally, for yet another word of encouragement. You are a blessing. Indeed, He is the God who sees us! I think of you often and pray for the fulfilment of your desires in His way and in His perfect time.

  2. Kristin says:

    Not forgotten. Thank you for the reminder.

  3. Tru says:

    Thank you Connally and all the sisters who write in this blog. You guys are immensely powerful, beautiful, tender, and strong. May we all continue to experience the Lord our Maker as our Husband while we wait for the human manifestation. Thank you for pointing out our cultural diversities yet unity within this struggle. You guys be blessed!

  4. Jennifer says:

    Thank you Connaly. This is at the same time both disturbing (for the lack of good Christ centered men… It would seem a fulfillment of prophesy) but also incredibly heart warming in the numbers of women who are praying around the world! Our God is on Control and the Lover, Kinsman Redeemer who is still able to do “exceedingly, abundantly above all we ask or think!” Bless God and Bless you and our seeking sisters (and brothers), everywhere!

    • fast. pray. says:

      Yes, God is definitely in control. I think really we need to start praying, as well, simply for more men to become believers. I know it’s rare as adults, etc. But why not? If Reality is actually Reality, then God is always drawing people to himself. Let’s do pray for the men we know who aren’t believers to have the eyes of their hearts opened.
      Blessings and glad you are with us!

  5. Thank you Connally for this revelation that am not unique in my desires and that HE sees……there are times when I wonder whether He does see me….

    • fast. pray. says:

      Yes, he DOES see you. Ask him to help you receive more and more of his gaze. I, too, though in a different culture/situation, have to keep asking as well!
      Blessings, Connally

  6. Suzanne says:

    Thank you for this post, but in particular, your very last statement. As a single woman who just turned 38 in February, longs to be married, and who is surrounded by highschool, college, and now post-college friends who are married, I often struggle to believe that God has NOT forgotten me. What’s more, the past 18 months in particular have been one painful trial after another… health, relational, housing, and employment. It has been an intense mind and heart battle to not fall prey to the lie that I have been ‘passed over’ by God. Some days I emerge victorious. Other days… not so much. Thank you for bringing us (me) back to the truth that I *am* seen by the One Who sees me. This is a good word to let my thoughts and heart soak up as I turn in for the night… that I would remember, receive, and be comforted by the truth that He does in fact see me, and that His gaze toward me is indeed loving. Thank you.

    • Kirsten says:


    • fast. pray. says:

      Thanks for your honest thoughts. I just commented on another person’s comment that we have to keep asking for help to see him seeing us, to feel him feeling us. But honestly, each day I ask something to that effect, and each day, in some small way, I’m reminder in a deep place within me that God is real, present, and loving. I want to keep learning to walk in this, even as I keep offering up my heart to him.
      Blessings on your week, Connally

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