Seeing with God’s Eyes

This is your reminder that we are praying and fasting during what would be Monday lunch for the courage for men and women to form good marriages.

Growing up, I had absolutely no vision for singleness–not singleness as a season or life stage, let alone calling.  Floating around in the far recesses of my mind was the real-if-unarticulated suspicion, “Well, what’s the point of living if you aren’t married?”

Obviously, I was wrong.  Life has slowly taught me this.  But part of what has helped has been my getting a bigger picture.  Getting the big picture fills my heart with joy—like standing atop Humpback Rocks in the Blue Ridge Mountains (in VA) and gazing on the wide valley and the blue-gray layers of surrounding foothills.  Something in me exhales, smiles and gains heart for the journey.

So, recently, when I picked up an article, “Created for More” by my friend, Josh Glaser, I was struck by his big picture language for what I’ve begun to see and trust only after  writing my book on singleness.  He wrote things like this:

  • “Scripture begins with a wedding (Adam and Eve) and ends with a wedding (Christ and the church).” It’s the fact of the promised eternal and unashamed union between God and his people that gives meaning and a model to earthly unions.  Think, for example, how a husband’s desire for his wife might teach us something about God’s eternal desire for us.  Or how a marriage’s commitment to mutual self-giving might reflect the self-giving love within the Trinity.  Or what about the delight a couple can have in making a baby—could it be that God wants us to know about his pleasure in creating us?  And the joy to be had in co-creating with Him?
  • Likewise, singleness lived well in God’s  presence—for a season, stage or lifetime—carries a bigger message with it.  Whether “wanting to marry, committed to life-long celibacy for the sake of serving Christ, or somewhere in the process of working out [our] sexual brokenness,” we get to testify through lives filled with God’s love, friendships, community, extended family when possible, and meaningful work, that sex and marriage are “not the ultimate gift, but only a foreshadowing of it.”  And single women who long for marital love play this important prophetic role of waiting.  Our celibate waiting “mirrors the waiting that belongs to all [people] as we wait for the culmination of the age,” the marriage between Christ and the church, the union between the new heavens and the new earth.

This bigger picture helps me so much.  Since my book came out six years ago, two of my nephews have died in shocking (unrelated) accidents, the reverberations running deep in my family’s soul.  Sandwiched between these deaths, I broke off my almost-engagement and slammed into anxiety.  In short, the last four+ years have rocked my  landscape, and I’ve had to focus anew, pray from a deeper place within me, and ask God to help me see as he sees.

Slowly, as my sight has been aligning with this bigger picture, I find myself exhaling and smiling more, my heart bigger for the journey.  My hope in the big, eternal picture deepens and, because of that hope, so does my willingness to still ask for a journey mate.

This week, as you pray, ask God to help you see yourself, your life, and the big picture as He sees it.  I suspect that if you do, you might find yourself breathing a little easier, smiling a bit more, and perhaps finding your heart and hope more full than ever.

Blessings in the Journey, Connally

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21 Responses to Seeing with God’s Eyes

  1. Christina says:

    Thank you for this excellent post! I read it at a women’s Valentines Day get-together I hosted and was asked for copies. So encouraging!

  2. DB says:

    I absolutely needed to read this right now

    “And single women who long for marital love play this important prophetic role of waiting. Our celibate waiting “mirrors the waiting that belongs to all [people] as we wait for the culmination of the age,” the marriage between Christ and the church, the union between the new heavens and the new earth.”

    Waiting can be really hard and sometimes there is a need to wait without understanding why we have to, this truly put it in perspective while I still don’t know the exact reason I’m waiting this long if marriage happens in my life, it’s a blessing to get a peek to some degree. Will remind myself of this quote next time I’d prefer to just have a tantrum concerning this topic:)

  3. miss says:

    The bigger picture. Yes! I must remember the bigger picture. And the bigger picture has nothing to do with marriage.

    I remember one friday or wednesday evening, my pastor was talking and she was saying, “People are dying, and you’re wanting to get married”.

    I’ll never forget that. She was absolutely right. People are lost and don’t know the Savior. They are hurting and I’m over here wanting to get married, when there are so many other more important things to be thinking about than that.

  4. Leanne says:

    My name is Leanne Reeves and i really thank you for the posts you put up on fast pray. I’m really battling with singleness. I have just turned 35yrs old and i have been single now for 6yrs and 5 months. My biggest desire is to get married to an God honouring man and have a family. I have been a christian for along time and my hope is dying. I feel all i do is go through trials and tribulations and i have now moved away from family and friends and feel even more alone. I have two sisters and they are both married and one is expecting her first child and as i’m so happy for both of them i just wish my turn will come. So i’m writing for prayer but more to give me hope and faith. Also to hear other peoples testimonies.

  5. Karis says:

    Connally, I resonated deeply with your post. It is truly a joy to catch even small glimpses of our place in a BIG, kingdom story. Being a part of this group, praying and fasting not only for marriage but for God to grow my heart HIS way, has played no small part in getting me to this place.
    On the surface, I can see that God is going crazy answering my prayers for marriage as one by one the single women on my list find dates, fiances, and husbands. But also, under the surface, my heart has come to know greater and deeper joys in the absolute goodness, generosity, and beauty of the Lord.
    I too, along wiht you, continue to grow in my desire to share life with a mate, and I will continue praying for godly husbands for us. Even so, what a gift it is to find our hearts even fuller, ever more restful, in the hands of our glorious Savior.

  6. Jacqueline says:

    Thank you for the depth of honesty and for the encouragement to see the bigger picture in the midst of hard times.

  7. Kristin says:

    Connally, thank you for your precious honesty today.
    Perfect, God-timing.

  8. Rose says:

    Great post, thank you Connally.

  9. Maria says:

    This was really encouraging. 🙂

  10. Thanks, Connally.

    On the “other end” of things, I am married and have 2 children. My oldest has life threatening food allergies and Asperger’s and has been dealing with severe anxiety these past few weeks. It has not been anything that I would have asked for, but it is what I have been given.

    There is a bigger picture in all of our sufferings. Thanks for the reminder to keep looking to God. If nothing else, I am more sensitive to others’ sufferings as well.


    • fast. pray. says:

      you are right–so much of it is learning how to receive whatever we have been given in the context of the larger, bigger, truer, and ultimately more beautiful picture….even when it hurts!
      glad you are in this with us,

  11. jodyhesler says:

    Connally, I really appreciate the analogy of the prophetic role of waiting. Like you, singleness was never the plan for me. Since I was little I wanted a husband, six children and a farm. 🙂 I’ve been on the mission field for 19 years now – as a single woman. I still long for marriage but trust that there is a purpose and a plan in my singleness. I’ll never have physical children but God has given me so many spiritual children. Frankly, there are days when that is not a great comfort but I’m learning to praise Him always. It’s a journey…

  12. kahansen says:

    Best post ever! Thank you!

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